Thursday, October 14, 2010


I really do not read that much, but either I was needing some sleep and in a real giggly mood or just found a new way to laugh out loud while teacher is trying to teach.  I think any of the above would be good!  I will give away my secret!  The new way, with out a bad four letter word is to READ! Yes the children have got me hooked!!  The Dairy Of A Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney.  I thought the teachers were going to get really upset with me.  First I could not put this book down, and second, I was laughing so loud I was disturbing the rest of the class.  So pick up a copy, he has written five so far.  Let me know what you think of this book and get back to me.  Haave I got you hooked??

Crap Only Happens To Me!!!!!
Don't forget!?
Pick up a copy and have a little laugh or two
I did and got in trouble!!!!!!


Sunday, October 3, 2010


HI Everyone!
Been busy with the two jobs and I thought I would write down what I do in a course of a weekend.
I was at work yesterday and those little things that start to add up and nag at you where nagging at me yesterday with everyone that I was working with.  They are those times that we all do not want to work.  There are those times that I do not mind putting in a hard days work. Then there are those times that I have just had it!!  When I get to job number two and the place looks like a bomb went off, I feel like I should run and run far!!  Like yesterday when I walk through the door and out of my mouth came "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TODAY!"  THIS WAS NOT A SOFT VOICE, I WAS LOUD!!!  It was a nice day out and the BIG E is going on and I think everyone in the north part of this county was shopping yesterday.  I spent most of the night trying to joke with some of the costumer's and it is these customers that make going to work worth going to work.  I can not wait till the next holiday coming up! Then the store is going to look like a tornado has come through with a bomb attached to it.  Hope you all have a wonderful week.  And remember come see me at job number two.  You are the ones that make it worth while to go to this job almost every day!!
Crap Only Happens To Me!!!!!


Sunday, September 26, 2010


To all of us who over see the little things in life!  I had to go to "Wally World (aka Wal-Mart) to pick up some tissue paper and a small gift bag to wrap a present that I purchased for a friend of mine.  When I got home and put the other things that I bought away and looked at the receipt and wonder what I had picked up for over 50 bucks!?  I thought I was just going for tissue paper and a gift bag.  Don't you hate when that happens???  Then of course I had to make myself a cup of coffee, Yes!, If I could hook myself up to a caffeine I.V. drip I probably would.  Less effort on my part.  Love the coffee taste though and love the caffeine more.  Now, were was I!  OH, that's right just about to wrap a present.  Let's see, Coffee, CHECK, present, CHECK, gift bag, CHECK, tissue paper, CHECK.  All set?!  Guess what!?  What has this world come to?!?!  Do we really need step by step instructions on the back of the tissue paper to tell us how to FLUFF your tissue paper?!?!?!  I am not kidding you at all.  I started to open the tissue paper and right there in front of my eyes, in black and white print were instructions on how to FLUFF your tissue!!  I really wish I knew how to put a picture of this on my blog.  That would take a brain fart for me at this point.  I have way to much caffeine in my system and taking Day Quill that I don't dare to attempt that right now.  So I kid you not!!! FLUFF YOUR TISSUE!  This gets me thinking Yes I am thinking, to all the other instructions that are out there that I have missed. Some might be as good as to FLUFF YOUR TISSUE!!  Most of you now me, and of course that is not all.  It always comes in threes.  I proceeded to spill my coffee on the floor and on the table as I grab the present, I threw that though the air to the couch.  I had to save that RIGHT!!  The rest of the tissue paper is now coffee stained and coffee scented. Hey might make big money, scented tissue or is this idea already taken.  The present is SAFE!  The floor needs a good wash though. So, I I end this for today, let me say these words to you,"don't forget to FLUFF your tissue next time you wrap that gift.

Crap Only Happens To ME!
Did you know that you need to FLUFF tissue?
What are your thoughts?
Till next time!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010


I came home to day to put my feet up and have a cup of coffee like I always do.  But today I found myself thinking way to much.  Is this what a cold dose to me. I do ache from head to toe and my head has been pounding all day.  Today though when I came home I saw my son in a different light!?  He has grown up in such a way that I for the last several weeks maybe even months did not really see my son the way I saw him today.  He will be 20 years old before I know it.  Where has the time gone?  That's what leads me to this

My son was about 4 years old and had a small cold. He came up to me and asked me for a issue, (This meaning tissue.) I laughed so hard that I started writing some of the funny things down that kids say.

Here are just a few:
One particular day, I call it girls get together.One of my friends was breast feeding her new born baby.  Jayden who is 3 and a half, and is a son to one of my other friends.  He was sitting on the floor very content and watching my friend breast feed her new born baby for a while.  He finally says "Mom, Is one of those for hot and one of those for cold?" Got to love kids!

A few years back as we were sitting down for a luncheon.  My niece at the age of 4 asked her grandma a question. "Gram how old are you?"  Grandma replied, "So old that I can not remember." Niece replies, "That's OK gram, I do that now and again too."  "Here is my secret for you to remember."  "I just look in my panties to remember, mine say 5/6." "Works for me gram!

A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."
Submitted by Zaxgram

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
     Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order please?"

Crap Only Happens To Me!!!
Let me know your funniest sayings from the kids.
Love to hear from you!!


Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I have not been at this long but I would like to thank all of the 250 people that have viewed my blog!!
Thanks and keep the comments rolling in!

Today, I was going to write about something till I got home and started to wonder Why do Women put so much energy into making them selves look so good.  No! Not energy I think I would call it Pain!  I was at that second job, Yes remember I told you, I work two jobs just cause I like filling in the time so I have no time at all.  This is for my associate that I worked with the other night. I rolled out of bed this morning and fell flat on my face.  Not a pretty site to see this older women fall.  At my age I don't do that gracefully.  Just don't think that it was graceful because it was not that at all.  I looked up, body aching from the old age and the knees cracking, and remembered that I bought myself a nice black shrug for myself.  I know its not the pillow, but I did by something for myself.  Anyways,  I put this on with a nice crisp white long sleeved T-shirt that I had and I do have to say I looked OK for a Tuesday.  As the day went on my nice crisp white long sleeved T-shirt was now turning black from all the black fuss coming from the black shrug that I had on.  This black fuss was all over me.  Let's see!  It was going onto my T-shirt, pants, hair, in my eyes, up my nose.  I started to sneeze and continued to rub my eyes and my nose all day long. The children in the class room that I was in made a comment by saying "It looks like there are bugs crawling all over your shirt.  Not the look I was going for.   NOTE TO SELF:  You my want to wash this black shrug before I wearing it again.  Now, I think I will wear a black long sleeved T-shirt next I want to wear this, put glasses on to protect my eyes, and have plenty of tissues on hand for my nose.  Do you believe that I still am pulling black fuss off of me as I am typing this blog today!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

If this is not bad enough I observed the women around me, as they try to look hot, fantastic, smoken hot, and what do you think they are saying after having those smoken hot shoes are on for a while!?  MY FEET HURT!  Yup!  You now you do!  You love the way they look on you and you are determined to wear them all night for ever one to see.  That is why we should be wearing comfortable shoes to work.  I do not see the men breaking down the door to tell us women that we look SMOKEN HOT!  NOT only that but all of us  women pull our eyebrow hairs, put all kinds of make up on(to see face break out from a reaction to skin), wash hair every night to make sure it has that right shine and lets not leave out all the things we put into our hair after we just spent time washing the old stuff out, spend all kinds of money on having our panties match our bra, getting the right jewelry for the outfits that we all have, wearing the right stilettoooos for that Smoken Hot outfit, lets not for get one of my favorite, to get the right fragrance and the nice hand cream to smooth out those rough spots in our skin.  LADY'S this list is the tip of the iceberg.  AND WHY DO WE DO THIS! So our feet can hurt, skin can break out, allergic reaction, and to look SMOKEN HOT!!

AS I take just an other black fuss off my shirt and take the fuss that is up nose, I say to you enjoy the laugh or two you my get from this!!

Crap Only Happens To ME!!!
Leave me a comment or two!

 Again thanks for all of you that have logged on

Sunday, September 19, 2010


My girlfriend said that she was sick of her husband walking though the door and asking her that dreaded question."HI, Honey! What have you been doing all day?" "Is supper ready yet?"

Well this is for all of us who stay home and take care of the kids and the house!!!

5:30am: Drag yourself out of your super warm comfortable bed to get the husband up and off to work. Make sure that he has got all his stuff (cell phone, keys, wallet, lunch, coffee to go, because you don't want to be the one to drive all the way to his work to drop something off, because HE left it behind.

6:00am: Sit down on the couch with a cup of hot coffee to watch the news, before you have to get the kids up and ready for school.
But they never want to RISE NOR SHINE!

6:45am: Give the kids a heads up that it is just about time to rise and shine!

6:50am: Check for holes in the eyelids and make sure that you are ready for round two with the kids. Drink that last sip of coffee because you know that you are going to need that boost. YOU Know YOU Are!!

7:00am: Take a breath, make sure coffee is all gone in the cup, Get kids out of bed!  Great they are up! "MOM I am hungry." One of the lovely chants as he walks down the hallway to the kitchen. The other saying that he will be down in a minute and you now what that means! (More like I will hand out here till she yells for me.)

7:30am: One child done with breakfast and one still upstairs. Get down here now if you want something to eat you are running out of time. Kitchen clean and one child almost ready to go and child number two just coming down the stairs and grab a clod pop tart. I am good with that!

7:35am: Tell older one that he needs to head down to the bus stop and put the younger one in the car to drive him to the other bus stop so that from there I can go start all the errands that need to be done today.

11:30am: Get younger child off the bus and then home for lunch.

12:00noon time: Sit down with the younger child talk about his day over a nice lunch and time for him to take a rest.

12:30pm: Walk into the living room to find out that the younger one has taken out 500 toys while you were making lunch. Looking at all these toys you start to pick up some of them so that you can clean this room before the day is out.

1:00pm: Child is starting to wake up from is nice nap and I hear "I want a snack!" Get younger child snack and have a play date over and try to clean up and get some of the laundry done and folder.

1:30pm: While you try to get some other small things done around the house the younger one and his play date are now taking out the 500 toys to play with and asking one million questions!?, Gone in and out of the house several times.

2:30pm: The older child comes over from school. Gotten himself a snack, made a mess of the kitchen. Go and tell older child to come back and clean up his mess, then think of what would be nice to have for dinner and pick up the rest of the kitchen that the older one did not do because sometimes it is just easier that way.

3:00pm: Walk play date home and walk dog for the day to get in some exercise.  Keep plastic bag in pocket to pick up that smelly stuff that the dog leaves behind on other peoples lawns. (this is were I wish that dogs were like cats. Cats cover up their own messes!)

3:30pm: OH Crap! Did I get the last load of laundry down? Husband may need that shirt for tomorrow. Go check thank God I checked!!

4:00pm: Check to see if older one has started some of that home work.  Check agenda, check homework site, check all homework.

4:30pm: Did I get a chance to fluff my bed and the kids, check to see if the bathroom needs a scrub, did I get to all the errands this morning? OH Well tomorrow is an other day.

5:00pm: OH Crap! %#%#% Dinner still has to be made, the kids need to get showers, the living room needs to be picked up for about the thousandth time today, AND I need a SHOWER, a SHOT ,and some SLEEP!!! BUT first feed the family.

5:30pm: Get kids in the shower, double check on older kids homework, make sure this is no papers I need to sign, let children watch a show or two on TV before they get ready.

6:00pm: Make myself a cup of decaf coffee, because you now if its not I will be up for hours. Ask husband if he wants a cup with you.

7:30pm: Give kids a heads a heads up that bed times in a little while, Let the dog go outside before the end of the night, make sure the kitchen is all cleaned up. Check living room and pick that up. Again with the kids for the fifth time today.

8:30pm: Have the kids head up to bed, brush teeth and get into bed. Answer about an other one million questions from the two of them and finally say goo night.  Now I can breath, I think! Is that the dog I hear? Let the dog in!?

Now to all those other halves that come home and ask "What did you do all day?" You may need a copy of this. You may add in what I forgot.  Like my girlfriend said we forgot to add in soccer practice, hockey practice, dance, baseball practice, and all those other stuff that we need to get to on time.

This doesn't include the days of doctor appointments.
This doesn't include all the times that we say be careful, no hitting, no spitting, what's the matter?, don't do that, throw that away, get that out of your mouth, pick that up, chill out, what up, stop holding yourself and go pee, Now You Get The Picture!!

And when the going gets tough I recite these words "THIS TO SHALL PASS" it seem to work and some times I said those words all day long.

SO to end this for an other day, to those husbands, next time they ask you "what have you been doing all day" I will gladly refer to this blog or make a copy and add in some other things I may have forgotten. Because I can not possibly recite all of this all over again!! NOW I am going to SHOWER, get a SHOT, and some SLEEP! and for those who really now me I don't drink, But never too late.

Crap Only Happens to ME!!!!!
How did I do?
See full size imageAnd some of your own
Till tomorrow                                                                  

Saturday, September 18, 2010


HI! I thought while I was at my second job today!? Yes! people out there, I do work two jobs and I am surprised that I have time to think.  I started this blog because The male figure in my life can sometimes, wait did I say sometimes I meant always. Hey !!!! ALWAYS he is like a female, feminine, high maintenance, pain in the you now what.  I have to look at the guide lines and the very fine print to this blog not sure I can use swear words!!  I know you guys can fill in the blanks.  I will get back to the other half. No not the better half that is ME!  Now as I was about to say every time I come home from work my man of the house, likes no loves to cook. Grill cooking that is. The Manly thing to do of the house. Which I am not suppose to touch.  I do when he is not around. Nothing wrong with this not ever in the middle of the winter in a snow storm, blizzards at times. YES folks he will grill in the SNOW,BLIZZARD,SLEET,FREEZING RAIN, JUST RAIN, HAIL nothing will not stop my manly man from grilling on his grill.  I sound like an add for the mailman.  My neighbors will agree with me Oh yes they will!  It just would be nice to change it up now and then.  I know what you all are thinking, and yes I do try my hand at some cooking but there are some things that I really should not do.  Cooking is one of those things.  Tonight's meal was ribs and corn on the cob.  GOOD,Very Good by the way.  Then because I did not jump at the chance to do the dishes right away.  You all know what is coming don't you?  What do most men do. There are three things, first they sit there and complain that you should be doing the dishes or two why can they just soak.  The last Why can't you do them?  We do not have a dish washer so there are times that I call myself the human dishwasher.  Yes I did the dishes cause I did not want to sit all night long in silence.  NOTE TO SELF: Can we fit a dish washer in  our tiny kitchen. Check on that soon. So after doing not that many dishes I came to sit down and watch a nice TV program. WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED NEXT?   YES OH YES, MY manly man was sound asleep on the couch.  Not so bad till he started to snore. And he snores loud! Are   You Kidding ME!!
Crap Only Happens To Me!!!
Love to hear from you all
Enjoy your day
Keep smiling!